


swallowed in the silence

by republica



Series: Focus [2]
Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 11:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4178436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/republica/pseuds/republica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Riley, everything doesn't just get better because she’s found her seven other selves. And so, when she doesn’t get out of bed for two whole days, they take it upon themselves to make sure she’s okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	swallowed in the silence

**Author's Note:**

> this is sort of a companion to my other piece about sun in prison 
> 
> i secretly kinda ship riley/sun, really i just love all of them and how they help each other always

Riley’s depression doesn’t go away just because she’s found her seven other selves. And so, when she doesn’t get out of bed for two whole days, they take it upon themselves to make sure she’s okay. 

The connection echoes with a dull weight, not exactly sadness or despair although those are there, too, but it’s like emptiness, really. Riley dreams of cold and white and icy fire burning her skin, their skin. All seven of them clutch their daughter in their arms, all seven of them drip tears onto her perfect new skin and the helplessness is overwhelming. 

Capheus appears next to her when she wakes up, and she stares at him with her eyes huge and whispers “I’m sorry.” 

He shakes his head and takes her hand in his, tells her - “We’re here for you.” 

From her other side, Sun nods, sitting straight backed against the wall, “Don’t ever apologize to us for your emotions.” She rests her hand on Riley’s head, combs her fingers through her hair, and the three of them sit in silence for a moment. 

Riley doesn’t have the strength for visiting, but the others can describe where they are, and she can see it, if not be there with them - they are with her, always. 

Nomi tells her about the sun setting over the Golden Gate bridge, the mix of colours and light and stars; Nomi sits with her and holds her, both of them remembering the taste of the barrel of the gun she’d held to her mouth. 

She dreams about Will, too - about never getting up off the mountaintop, never getting him away from Whispers, of him dying in that van and when that happens Kala comes and sings to her until the images go away. Bollywood songs, religious chants, Icelandic songs from Riley’s childhood that sound newly beautiful in Kala’s warm voice.

Sun is there with her most of the time, because Sun knows feeling trapped, remembers alone - and how Riley was there. “You’re not alone,” she whispers, and strokes the scars on her wrist gently. 

When she dreams of the plastic over her face, the lack of air and the fear - or the feeling of blood spattering her skin, Wolfgang is there because he understands pain and violence and he sits by her bed. They don’t have to say anything, but she feels his presence like a solid wall of determination and knows he’d be there for her, for them, again whenever they need it. 

In a brief moment of lucidity Will is there, his hand on her face and his familiar kind eyes smiling into hers. “I love you,” he tells her, before fading again from their joint consciousness. 

Lito makes her smile, gets her to sit up in the bed and talk: about nothing, about anything, he has a gift for finding the right thing to say and then she giggles and he grins back, eyes dancing and she takes his hand when he offers it and stands. 

Kala helps her wash her hair, draws her a bath with foam and sweet-smelling bubbles and then strips the bed and does the laundry, the door to the bathroom open so Riley can see her moving around. 

Wolfgang shows up again when she’s sitting at the table, debating whether or not she wants to eat, and he brews a pot of strong bitter coffee, which she takes gratefully, inhaling the scent. 

“Keep fighting,” he says when she finishes the coffee, “You’re just as strong as any of us.” 

She watches the sun rise with Capheus at her side, looking out a window at the wide expanses that were once so familiar, but have become cursed, just as she thought she was too. But with the others gathered around her, the memories aren’t so painful; she has seven other minds to share them with; her dangerous thoughts don’t echo in her brain so much. 

She knows that when things get bad, when the numbness comes back, she won’t have to handle it alone, and feels the whisper of seven hands grasping hers.


End file.
